


My Sun and Moon

by mallaidhsomo



Series: Sabaism [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Adept (Mass Effect), Almost Kiss, Birthdays, First Kiss, Flirting, M/M, Paragon Shepard (Mass Effect), Slow Burn, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Spacer (Mass Effect), The Thorian, UST, spacer shepard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28556622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mallaidhsomo/pseuds/mallaidhsomo
Summary: SR-1 Era one-shots for Jamie Shepard (Adept/Spacer/Sole Survivor).These one-shots will serve as a prologue of sorts for an eventual long-fic.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: Sabaism [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2092287
Comments: 19
Kudos: 28





	1. Piece of Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [ shadoedseptmbr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadoedseptmbr) for her amazing beta work!!

The pounding in Kaidan's head, which had started the moment the Normandy had left Therum’s atmosphere, had reduced to a dull thud. He was experienced enough in this dance, knew that calling himself 'better' and going about his business would be a fool's errand. The instant and sounds replaced the dark quiet, the stabbing pain would return. So he stayed where he was, cocooned under blankets in the Normandy's unusually quiet med-bay.

Dr. Chakwas let him sleep off the worst of his migraines as often as she could, but the Normandy was a busy ship, and she couldn't always guarantee he would get privacy. But tonight, he had the med-bay all to himself. The rest of the crew was in the mess, enjoying the cake that Ashley had baked for Shepard's birthday.

To say Kaidan was surprised that Ashley Williams baked, and really well from the sounds of it, was an understatement. But when she had found out that Shepard's birthday was approaching and he planned to do nothing about it, she insisted on baking a cake and having a small celebration.

Kaidan felt the migraine coming on as Ashley was painstakingly icing the cake.

 _We can wait_. She had said, a dollop of white icing left on her cheek after she'd wiped her face with the back of her hand. _Until you feel better._

Kaidan appreciated the gesture but declined. Couldn't have the commander eat stale cake. The celebration was for Shepard and not Kaidan, after all.

It was probably awkward for Shepard, regardless. Despite his laundry list of accomplishments, Shepard didn't like having the attention of many people on him. Kaidan remembered standing next to him during his Spectre induction, Shepard shifting uncomfortably on his feet, looking out of place despite having more than earned his title.

Kaidan imagined it was much the same now, Shepard blushing, hiding an adorably embarrassed grin as the crew sang 'Happy Birthday'. Ashley would have to practically shove him at the cake to get him to make a wish and blow out the candles. Then they would sit around and enjoy comfortable conversation and Ash's N7 shaped cake.

He thought it strange at first, that the son of Captain Hannah Shepard was so averse to personal attention, until Shepard had explained that his mother wasn't the type to give out praise frequently. As he got to know Shepard on a more personal level, Kaidan realized that this meant his mother was cold and distant, but Shepard was too polite to say so. He preferred to sugarcoat things, especially when it came to his mother and their relationship, which Kaidan was beginning to learn was strained, at best.

It was a fucking shame. He didn't think he'd ever met anyone as intrinsically _good_ as Jamie Shepard. He was always trying to put good in the galaxy, to counterbalance the heaping piles of horrible shit they saw every day, often at the expense of himself. And he never complained.

He was smart, fiercely loyal and protective over those that he considered important to him, deadly in the field and yet somehow still so gentle and kind. The first biotic to gain an N7 designation, and yet Kaidan had never met someone so…sweet.

He was beautiful, inside and out, and Kaidan would be fooling himself if he thought he wasn't attracted to Shepard. That there wasn't…something there. Lingering glances, the fact that Shepard spent more time casually conversing with Kaidan than any other member of the crew, the flutter in his stomach that Kaidan sometimes got in Shepard’s presence. 

The door to the med-bay opened with a soft _whoosh_ , and Kaidan sat up to see the man himself step into the room, holding two dessert plates piled with cake. He hesitated just inside as the door shut behind him, but smiled when he made eye contact with Kaidan.

 _That damn smile._ Kaidan didn't see it often but when he did, his heart lurched in his chest.

"I saved a piece for you," Shepard said, pulling up a seat next to Kaidan's cot and setting one of the plates on the table next to the bed.

He looked more relaxed than Kaidan had seen him in a while, loose limbs and an easy smile. Shepard usually held himself so straight and professional, wired too tight. Kaidan returned the soft grin. It was nice to see him let go of the stress, at least a little. For at least a little while.

"Thanks, Shepard. You didn't have to do that," he replied, pulling the plate into his lap. He nodded to the other plate that Shepard was still holding. "But uh, that's a lot of cake for one person."

Shepard huffed, the high parts of his cheeks turning pink. "I snuck a second piece for myself."

Kaidan chuckled, gaze dropping to Ashley's birthday masterpiece to avoid lingering on the flush on Shepard's cheeks that shouldn't have been as adorable as it was. "No one is going to court martial you for having a second piece of your own birthday cake."

Shepard shrugged, one side of his full mouth pulling into a grin. "I don't know. Joker was complaining that half the cake was dextro even though only a few crew members can eat it."

Kaidan snorted, stabbing a fork-full of the 'N' side of the cake. Ashley had baked the '7' specifically for the dextro portion of the crew.

"Just use the 'biotics needs more calories' excuse, then. Works every time." He spoke around a mouth full of cake. He practically moaned at the flavor. If Ash decided the military wasn't for her, she could make a killing as a baker.

"Seriously, though," he continued once he'd swallowed. "You don't have to hang out here with me. Get back to your party."

Shepard hummed, taking a fork-full of cake and settling back against the chair as if he had nowhere else to be. "I think I had my fill of being social for the day,"

Kaidan smirked. He and Shepard were both highly introverted, which didn't always mix well in such an enclosed space like a warship. Kaidan knew what it was like to need solitude. And yet…

"But you're still sitting here talking to me."

Shepard huffed, running a hand through his hair. Kaidan was always getting shit about his hair, but Shepard's was just as bad, longer than regulation, thick and blonde, and looked like it would be so soft to the touch.

"You caught me," he said, offering a self-deprecating smile. "Guess I'd rather sit here and talk to you then sneak back to my cabin."

Kaidan's turn to blush. For an introvert such as Shepard, that was flirting. Not great flirting, but flirting nonetheless.

"Well, I'm uh… glad you stopped by." He said, putting the now empty cake plate back on the table. "I hope you had a good birthday, all things considered."

Shepard shrugged, popping the last bit of cake into his mouth and depositing his empty plate on top of Kaidan's.

"Haven't celebrated one in awhile," he said at length.

Gods but Kaidan wanted to hug him. It was one thing to be introverted. It was another to be lonely. He got the impression Shepard was both.

"Well," Kaidan offered. "Give us enough notice next year and we'll go all out. Party hats, maybe some laser tag."

Shepard laughed, free and light, and Kaidan couldn't help but smile, determined to learn how he could hear that laugh more often. Their eyes met, the blush rising in Shepard's cheeks, and he opened his mouth to speak before Joker's voice over the comms interrupted him.

"Commander, I have Captain Anderson on vid-comm for you. He says it's important."

Shepard's sigh spoke volumes but he immediately stood, gathering their plates. "I'm on my way."

"Never off duty, huh?" Kaidan asked, meeting Shepard's gaze with a soft smile.

Shepard shook his head, giving Kaidan a soft pat on the shoulder. "Get some rest, Kaidan."

As Kaidan watched his retreating back, he realized that it was the first time that Shepard had used his first name. He swallowed thickly, really enjoying the sound of his name in Shepard's voice.

"Shepard?" he called out, voice breaking a bit at the end.

He turned back to Kaidan, eyebrows raised.

"Happy birthday." 


	2. Protector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Shepard grinned, open and free. "Yeah, you got some… umm-," He swirled a fingertip vaguely in the direction of Kaidan's head._
> 
> _Kaidan groaned. "It's in my hair, isn't it?"_
> 
> Thorian guts don't make a good hair product.

Kaidan followed Shepard and Liara back to Zhu's Hope, dog tired and covered in what was left of the Thorian. He pulled a face. He could only imagine how all three of them smelled. He was breathing through his mouth to avoid it.

Shepard slowed his pace to come to Kaidan's side, a small smile on his face despite the situation.

"Good job down there, LT." He said, brown eyes crinkling at the corners. Kaidan wasn't sure how he could be so chipper, especially if he was half as sticky and itchy as Kaidan felt, but he imagined it had something to do with getting the colony back on its feet.

"Thanks, Commander. You and Liara made my job easy with the singularities. I just shot creepers out of the sky." He grimaced, flicking a hunk of the aforementioned creeper off his hard suit. "Shotgun probably wasn't the best choice…"

Shepard grinned, open and free. "Yeah, you got some… umm-," He swirled a fingertip vaguely in the direction of Kaidan's head.

Kaidan groaned. "It's in my hair, isn't it?"

Shepard laughed, opening up his smile even more, making Kaidan's stomach do a flip. "Yeah. Here, let me…," He reached up, carding a gauntleted hand through Kaidan's hair to catch a hunk of creeper.

It should _not_ have made him break out into goosebumps the way it did. And it should _not_ have caused him to get caught, just for a moment, in Shepard's warm brown gaze.

Shepard removed his hand, flinging creeper guts to the ground.

_Right._ Kaidan thought. This is the absolute _worst_ time to have an entire flue of butterflies take off in his stomach. He cleared his throat.

"Thanks, Shepard."

Shepard's smile turned shy, a shade of pink popping up on his cheekbones under the grime. Liara trotted off towards the colony as they got closer, throwing Kaidan a knowing smile over her shoulder.

Yeah, they weren't particularly transparent, even if nothing had _happened_. Neither him or Shepard were especially good at hiding their emotions, and the heated looks, shy smiles, and flirty comments were beginning to be noticed by the crew.

Kaidan knew they'd have to talk about it, eventually. But the timing never seemed right.

Fai Dan approached Shepard as they entered the colony, clapping him on the shoulder and thanking him for his assistance. When his hand came away covered in dead Thorian, Shepard smiled sheepishly and asked if his team could shower before he debriefed them on the situation.

It was as he was standing under the hot spray in the Normandy's communal showers that Kaidan realized two things: despite the number of times he'd showered with Shepard in the room, this was the first time they'd been there _alone_ , and two, even though there was no one else in the room with them, they somehow managed to pick stalls right next to each other.

Kaidan's cheeks flushed from something other than the hot water as he suddenly became hyper-aware that Shepard was standing in the stall next to him, naked as the day he was born, and they were both harboring some seriously unresolved feelings about each other.

It was too late to move to a different stall, that would just look suspicious, so Kaidan made an extra conscious effort to _not_ look anywhere in Shepard's direction.

They were both silent as they washed, and Kaidan didn't know if that made it worse or better. He was so used to casual conversation in this situation. He imagined that Shepard felt as awkward as he did, and he almost opened his mouth to say something when the water from Shepard's stall shut off and he stepped out. Kaidan's gaze moved before he could stop himself, catching a glimpse of pale flesh, a shade lighter than the rest, before Shepard wrapped a fluffy white towel around his narrow hips.

Kaidan turned the water down to a cooler temperature as he finished his shower. Once he pulled himself back together, he headed back down to the colony, where he found Garrus standing in the middle of the courtyard, arms crossed over his chest, watching Shepard converse with Fai Dan. He had stayed behind with the rest of the crew to guard the ship and the colony.

"They love him," Garrus mentioned, watching other colonists stop by to greet Shepard. Some shook his hand, others gave him a hug. He accepted all the attention gracefully, chatting with anyone that asked it of him.

Kaidan hummed. "He's awfully charismatic for someone who'd prefer to spend his time alone."

"It's interesting," Garrus continued. "An N7 and a Spectre. Most people in his position would be jaded, possibly more ruthless. He continues to remain optimistic, to try to see the good in the galaxy."

Kaidan nodded. Other than himself, Shepard had seemed to take to Garrus the most of anyone on the ship. That had been a surprise, they seemed so different from each other. But Kaidan sensed that Garrus felt a tad protective over Shepard.

"That worries me."

Kaidan stared at him, curiously. "Why?"

Garrus' carapace moved up and down in as close to a shrug as he'd seen from a turian. "The council and the Alliance, they look at him and see a tool, a figurehead. You and I, we see the person. They wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice him to their cause."

Kaidan pursed his lips, watching Shepard stroll past a pre-fab with Fai Dan, chatting about the colony's water issue, the one that Shepard had insisted on solving before they moved on to taking care of the geth.

"And we all know that sacrifices will need to be made if we're going to stop the Reapers," Garrus continued, a low thrumming sound coming from his mandibles. "Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Kaidan regarded him, one eyebrow raised. "He means a lot to you, doesn't he?"

Garrus regarded him back, mandibles twitching. "You're one to talk, Alenko."

Kaidan sputtered, tearing his gaze away from Garrus and back to Shepard.

"But yes, I've grown quite fond of him. And we need him. But… he deserves better than to be held up as our savior and then sacrificed."

Kaidan didn't have a response to that. It was true, and it scared the shit out of him.

"He needs… people around him. To help him, to keep his spirits up when all of _this_ ," He gestured vaguely. "Starts to wear him down." Garrus turned to Kaidan. "I see the two of you, hell, everyone has. I'm not familiar with human mating rituals, but it seems to me that you and he… what's the phrase… 'have something'?"

Kaidan threw him a mock glare before glancing back to Shepard. He'd stopped to chat with another colonist, who reached out and touched his arm, a shy smile on her face. The gesture screamed flirtation, and Kaidan felt his face grow hot, at the same time abashed by his misplaced jealousy. He had no claim over Jamie, and yet…

Shepard smiled at her, gently untangling her hand from his forearm, at the same time as he glanced over, making eye contact with Kaidan. His smile was soft, his expression apologetic. As if he had anything to apologize for.

"Yeah," Kaidan agreed, voice soft. "I don't know what it means, or where it's going to go, but yeah, I care about him. I think he feels the same way." He turned back to Garrus. "Even if he doesn't, I'm in this for the long haul. He may not be the hero we deserve, but he's the one we need."

Garrus' mandibles twitched into the turian equivalent of a smile. "I'm holding you to that, Alenko."

Kaidan held out a fist to him, little finger out. When Garrus just studied him curiously, he reached out and wrapped it around one of Garrus' large talons, shaking it once.

"Pinky swear."

Garrus huffed. "Human customs are so _weird."_


	3. Under the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _One moment. That was all it took for Kaidan to lose his concentration and for the husks to flank him. There were too many, he wasn't as skilled at a singularity as Shepard, and he didn't think he had the juice to get a decent barrier up in time. He was able to throw two of them about a dozen feet away before he felt his amp start to over-heat._
> 
> _Fucked. He was fucked. ___
> 
> For Kaidan, Chasca is full of all sorts of close calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started as a kiss prompt on Tumblr: Under the Stars/Relief. Given by Ladyamesindy. Like most Jamie prompts, ended up being a chapter instead. Eh... sorry not sorry ;)

They went into the science facilities on Chasca expecting a fight. Kaidan had been under no delusions that they would likely find something bad had happened to the colonists, but instead of the dead bodies that they had expected, they had found each facility over-run with husks. By the time they'd reached the third building, all three of them - him, Shepard, and Wrex - were exhausted, low on ammo, and their amps were reaching their limit.

One moment. That was all it took for Kaidan to lose his concentration and for the husks to flank him. There were too many, he wasn't as skilled at a singularity as Shepard, and he didn't think he had the juice to get a decent barrier up in time. He was able to throw two of them about a dozen feet away before he felt his amp start to over-heat.

Fucked. He was fucked.

And then Shepard was there, glowing brighter than any human biotic Kaidan had ever seen, holding a steady barrier over both of them while he popped husk after husk between the eyes with his pistol. Kaidan joined what barrier he could to Shepard's, twining their biotic fields together and sending a shiver down Kaidan's spine. The slight twitch in Shepard's shoulder was the only indication he felt it, too.

Kaidan had forgotten how… intimate it could feel to join his corona to another biotic. He hadn't done it since BAaT . Shepard spared him a glance, his pupils dilated, before they both got back to the task at hand.

Kaidan's hands weren't steady, and his shots weren't perfect; he took to firing center mass after the first couple of rounds grazed the side of a husk's head. It took longer than head shots, but thankfully Shepard hadn't seemed to be suffering any ill effects of an amp that had to be smoking in the back of his skull at that point, his shots steady and true.

Once the last husk fell and there was nothing left to be done, Kaidan, Shepard, and Wrex couldn't get out of the facility fast enough. Well, he and Shepard, anyway. Wrex lingered back to see what he could loot from the facility, covered in husk guts and stinking to high heaven. Kaidan didn't know how he could stand it.

Outside, Kaidan let his helmet fell to the ground with a soft thud. He sucked in lungfuls of fresh air, willing his stomach to stop rolling and the stench of dead husk to leave his nose. He pointed his face towards the sky, watching the twinkling stars as he waited for the nausea to pass. Several yards away, Shepard was doing the same thing, though he looked even worse than Kaidan did; his skin was pale, and his hands shook slightly as he pulled his helmet off and let it fall to the dirt. Apparently, the adrenaline drop was hitting him harder than it had hit Kaidan.

"You ok, LT?" Shepard asked, taking a few steps towards Kaidan. When Kaidan looked up, he met Shepard's warm brown eyes a moment before he saw the red trickle coming from his nose.

Without thinking, Kaidan stripped off his gauntlet and reached up to wipe the blood away. Shepard's breath hitched and his pupils blew, heavy lidded gaze falling to Kaidan's mouth.

"Sorry," Kaidan murmured, pulling his hand away reluctantly. "Are _you_ ok?"

Shepard cleared his throat, reaching up to wipe the rest of the blood from under his nose. "Uh, yeah. A little dizzy, but nothing a snack won't fix."

"You really pulled my ass out of the fire back there," Kaidan said. "I've never seen a biotic display from a human like that before."

He ducked his head to hide the flush he could feel creeping up his neck, his mind pulling him back to the memory of the caress of Shepard's biotic field against his, like the caress of fingers on bare skin. They had been forced to learn to mix fields in BAaT, and Kaidan hated every second of it. It had always felt _wrong_ somehow, like something that should have been done in private or between people that agreed to it, not between a bunch of scared teenagers.

"You scared me," Shepard replied and his voice was so soft that Kaidan looked up to meet his gaze in surprise, suddenly achingly aware of how _close_ he was. Shepard clasped his shoulders, breath leaving his lungs in a broken sigh, and tipped his head forward, trapping his forehead against Kaidan's. "I saw those husks swarm you and, I don't know, I guess I went on auto-pilot."

Kaidan swallowed the lump in his throat, tried to breathe around the tightness in his chest. Mere inches separated Jamie's mouth from his and the urge to close the distance was overwhelming.

Maybe he waited a second to too long. Maybe he was waiting for Jamie to make the first move. Either way, the boom of the Normandy's thrusters entering atmo and descending to their location broke the spell, and Shepard pulled away, clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said, the wind blowing his sweat-damp hair into his eyes. Kaidan fought the urge to reach up and push it out of the way. "That was-,"

"Don't apologize," Kaidan murmured, trying to look anywhere but at Shepard's face, settling for the strong expanse of his neck, where his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly.

Kaidan repressed a groan, tearing his gaze over to the Normandy, watching the gang plank lower.

They had almost crossed the line in the sand, the one that would put them in a place they couldn't come back from. Gods knew Kaidan _wanted_ to cross it - and he suspected Shepard felt the same - but what they wanted and what they should do were two entirely different things.

Shepard opened his mouth to speak, but then Wrex hollered, "Shepard! I'm going to drive the Mako in into the shuttle bay so you and Alenko can keep making eyes at each other!"

Kaidan groaned, rubbing his forehead, while Shepard flushed, cursing under his breath.

"Wrex, you know you aren't allowed in the driver's seat!" Shepard shouted, taking off at a jog to intercept the krogan before he drove the Mako into a mountain.

Kaidan took a deep breath, willing his heart to beat at a normal pace.

He was such a goner.

~*~

It had taken an hour to hose the husk guts off the Mako, enough time for Kaidan to grab a shower and do the same to himself. Once he made his way back down to the shuttle bay, all evidence of Chasca was gone. He was doing maintenance and cleaning on his pistol when Ashley found him later.

"LT," she said, sidling up next to him at the weapons bench. She leaned back against it, arms crossed over her chest, a smirk on her face that told Kaidan more than he wanted to know. "Heard that last mission got pretty interesting."

"Uh, yeah," Kaidan replied evasively, popping the slide off his weapon. "Had a couple of close calls."

Ashley snorted. "Don't be obtuse. That's not what I meant and you know it."

Kaidan sighed, letting gun parts fall to the table with a clank. "Ash-,"

"Wrex said, and I quote: 'The only thing that smelled worse than the husks was the mating pheromones Shepard and Alenko were giving off'."

Kaidan pressed the heel of his hand into his forehead, distantly wishing for a sudden onset migraine so he could be anywhere but this conversation. "Do me a favor and never use the phrase 'mating pheromones' and my name in the same sentence again."

Ashley hummed, picking up a spare magazine off the bench and fiddling with it. "Now, that depends. Are you and Shepard ever going to talk about the giant cloud of sexual tension that follows the two of you around?"

Kaidan shot her a withering look before turning his attention back to his weapon. She sighed. "You know you're going to have to talk about it eventually,"

Kaidan spared her a glance. Her features had softened, taking on a less teasing tone. She was being 'Ash the friend' now.

"It's not that simple," he replied, turning back to the weapons bench, and snagging a piercing mod for his pistol. He stared at it a moment, then put it back, making a mental note to install it on Shepard's weapon. Shepard always insisted the crew get the better mods first, leaving him with the leftovers. Kaidan had made a point to stash a few choice pieces back with the intention of making sure Shepard got them installed on his weapons. 

"It can be," Ashley replied, handing him the magazine back when he reached for it. He shot her a sardonic look. She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Seriously. Fuck regs. We're all facing extinction."

Kaidan gaped at her. "Really, Ash?"

She huffed. "You know as well as I do that everyone cares a whole lot less about regs on a starship than people think." She shifted to her side, closer to him, giving him her laser focus stare. "I'm going to ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly. Don't think about it too much. Deal?"

Kaidan nodded.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes," Kaidan answered without hesitation, which was frankly terrifying.

Ashley nodded her head once, but her stoic look did not betray any feelings. "Can you see a future with him?"

"Yes." _Fuck._ He could, couldn't he?

Ashley _beamed_ , then smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Then don't waste it."

Kaidan huffed, feeling a flush creep up the back of his neck. "Never took you for a romantic, Ash."

She shrugged, smirking at him conspiratorially. "What can I say, I'm full of surprises."

The elevator door whooshed open, and Shepard strode out, staring at the floor and rubbing the back of his neck. He'd been holed up in Dr. Chakwas' office since they'd returned from the surface of Chasca. Kaidan could imagine the dressing down he'd likely received from the doctor about abusing his amp and generally disregarding his health, along with the embarrassed smile and 'yes ma'am's' that would fall from Shepard's lips. Kaidan got similar lectures all the time, after all.

He looked up, and his gaze met Kaidan's immediately, without hesitation, like magnets seeking each other out. Something tightened in Kaidan's chest. Shepard offered him a soft smile, opening his mouth to speak, before belatedly noticing Ashley standing next to Kaidan smirking like the Cheshire Cat. He swallowed thickly, the high parts of his cheeks turning pink. Ashley shuffled on her feet; Kaidan sensed she was about to leave, give them the privacy that Shepard was clearly seeking, but then Shepard muttered 'night LT, Chief' and slipped back into the elevator.

Kaidan sighed. Ashley snorted. He met her eyes to find her staring at him wolfishly.

"Kaidan," she said, voice serious despite her smirk. "Don't make me lock you two in a closet." 


	4. Top Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Started from a prompt: 'a kiss to hide from the bad guys'
> 
> _Ashley was right. They needed to confront this thing head on. Preferably_ before _Kaidan committed assault against the next person that flirted with Shepard._

Kaidan woke up in an actual bed that morning, sun shining in through the window of his room. It had stopped snowing, of course, on the day they were prepared to leave. He stretched out, enjoying the lazy wake up in a room, alone, no snoring marines next to him, no cramped quarters.

Giana Parasini had been so grateful for Shepard's help with her problems on Noveria that she offered a block of rooms for the Normandy crew as a thank you. Kaidan had somehow won the lottery of getting a private room, along with Shepard and Liara. Kaidan imagined it had to do with the fact that they were on the ground team with Shepard and had come back covered in rachni guts and looking a little hollow. Liara had retreated to her private room without so much as a word. Kaidan had wanted to go check on her, but he wasn't sure if asari mourned different than humans and didn't want to overstep.

Truthfully, Kaidan thought the gesture was a little over-the-top, and didn't believe for a second that Parasini gave a flying fuck about the rachni or a rogue asari matriarch. But she had seemed to show a special interest in Shepard and had made it quite clear that she was staying one more night on Noveria, in the very same hotel.

 _Because there are_ so _many hotels on Noveria,_ Kaidan had thought dryly, grinding his teeth, and resisting the urge to drag her outside and toss her in a snowbank.

But Shepard turned her down in that charismatic way of his, and Kaidan went to his room, alone but ever aware of Shepard sleeping only two doors down from him.

Ashley was right. They needed to confront this thing head on. Preferably _before_ Kaidan committed assault against the next person that flirted with Shepard.

Rolling over, he checked the time on his omni-tool. It was still early enough that he could go back to sleep for another hour or so, but his stomach rumbled in protest and he belatedly remembered the decent looking restaurant on the ground floor of the hotel.

Breakfast it was, then.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, he made his way downstairs. He was surprised to find a familiar face at one of the tables in a corner, scrolling through a data pad and sitting in front of enough food to feed three people. 

Kaidan smirked at the sight, debating leaving him to his privacy. But Shepard looked up and caught his eye and, like the tide, Kaidan was pulled in. 

"Mind some company?"

"Not at all," Shepard replied with a grin, gesturing to an empty seat next to him. "Help yourself. My eyes might have been bigger than my stomach."

Kaidan chuckled, slipping into the seat next to Shepard. Their table was facing the entrance, and Shepard had positioned himself in just the right way to see all the doors.

"I don't know, Shepard," he replied. "I've seen you put away some food."

Shepard snorted, setting the data pad aside and snagging a handful of what looked like bacon onto his plate. "Speak for yourself."

"Guilty," Kaidan agreed, reaching for the toast. The food was surprisingly good. Or maybe he'd just gotten so used to ship rations that anything not freeze-dried was a delicacy.

"How'd you sleep?" Shepard asked, refilling his orange juice. At least Kaidan assumed it to be orange juice in that it was juice and was orange.

"Fantastic, actually."

"'Actually'?"

Kaidan snorted. "I've spent so much time on starships I figured my body would rebel against the idea of an actual bed. Too soft, you know? But I slept like a baby. What about you?"

Shepard hummed around a mouthful of bacon. "I got a solid four hours."

Kaidan shot him a wry look, and Shepard had the decency to blush. He gestured to the data pad. "Always something that needs to be done."

"You can't run yourself ragged, Shepard." Kaidan told him, sampling the coffee. Not bad. He would probably have to see about buying some beans before they headed back to the Normandy. He was almost out of his secret stash of the good stuff that he only ever shared with Shepard. And sometimes Ashley , if she asked nicely.

"Once we catch Saren and this mission is over, I'll take some proper R&R. Pinky swear." He held up a hand, pinky up.

Kaidan snorted, rolling his eyes. "I'll believe that when I see it." He reached over for some bacon. "Have you talked to Liara? How's she holding up?"

Shepard shrugged, sighing. "As well as can be expected, I guess. I stopped by her room last night, but she wanted to be alone. It's a mess. And I'm sure the council isn't going to be happy about the rachni queen."

"Why'd you do it, anyway? Spare the queen?"

Shepard studied him for a moment, a steadfastness in his gaze that took Kaidan by surprise. "No one person or race should decide the fate of an entire species, Kaidan. Humans have tried it in the past, and it never ended well. Leaving that kind of power up to individuals is a slippery slope, and I refuse to do that."

Kaidan swallowed bacon and the lump in his throat. He knew Shepard could be persuasive and charismatic when he wanted to be, but this was something different. This was someone that was unwavering in what he believed was right and _good_.

"I take it you're against the genophage, then."

Shepard nodded. "You bet I am."

Shepard's omni-tool beeped with an incoming call, and he let out a resigned sigh when he peeked at the interface.

"Ms. Parasini. Good morning. What can I do for you?"

Kaidan bit back a laugh at the annoyed look on Shepard's face, listening to the muted sound of her voice on the other end of the comm and Shepard's occasional 'hmm' and 'ok' as he listened.

"I appreciate the heads up. Yes. You, too."

He sighed, disconnecting the comm. Kaidan raised his eyebrows in question.

"Apparently, former Administrator Anoleis still has a few thugs running around the port. Ms. Parasini heard a couple of rumors that they might still be gunning for me."

Kaidan smirked, gazing at his plateful of eggs remorsefully. "So much for a quiet morning, huh?"

He had barely gotten the words out before Shepard suddenly stiffened, sharp gaze focused off to Kaidan's left.

"On your nine," he muttered, raising his coffee mug to his lips.

Kaidan peered in the direction indicated, and sure enough, four men had just entered the restaurant. To the patrons and staff, they wouldn't appear to be mercenaries, but Kaidan and Shepard pegged them quickly for what they were. The manner of dress, the way they carried themselves, the way their eyes darted around the room.

Shepard shifted next to Kaidan, his hand sneaking under the table towards his side-arm. Kaidan took stock of their surroundings, professionals, but also a few couples or families scattered throughout. Civilians.

"If they find us here, there will be civilian casualties." Kaidan put in.

"Agreed," Shepard replied, following the mercs with his eyes. "They need to pass through without seeing us. Then, I can alert port security of their location. Any ideas?"

 _Not really._ Kaidan thought. Getting up to leave now would be too obvious. Trying to hide behind a menu would be too obvious. The mercenaries were closing in, and if they didn't act quickly, all hell could break loose. A laugh to his right caught Kaidan's attention, and he spotted a couple, an asari and a turian, sitting close together, smiling and touching intimately.

A static rush rolled across Kaidan's skin, the low simmer of Shepard's biotics as he prepared for a fight, and a mercenary rounded around one of the tables, heading right towards them.

Turning in his seat, Kaidan slid into the bench next to Shepard, wrapped one arm around his waist and used his free hand to cup the back of Shepard's neck, tilting his head in Kaidan's direction. He had a moment to register the shock and curiosity on Shepard's face before pulled him in for a kiss.

As far as distractions went, it was an enjoyable plan, but the mercenaries could have probably slit his throat and he would have never noticed. The moment his mouth covered Shepard's, it was like a dam breaking, a wash of emotion and unresolved feelings pouring out and fed into a kiss.

Jamie made a soft sound, hand coming up to grip Kaidan's bicep, lips moving against Kaidan's like they'd been doing this for years. He was _so_ warm, and his lips were _so_ soft, tasting slightly like the tangy fruit juice he'd been drinking.

Fingers tangled in Kaidan's hair, sending a pleasant tingle across his scalp, and Jamie tilted his head for a better angle, tongue darting out to tease at the seam of Kaidan's mouth. Kaidan groaned, pulling him closer and answering the silent demand, trembling slightly as Jamie's tongue slipped passed his teeth.

He was hot and dizzy and hard, and this had gone _far_ beyond a simple distraction. They hadn't just crossed the line in the sand, they'd raced past it completely. He felt like a teenager, in all the best ways. When was the last time he'd enjoyed just _kissing_ someone so much? He couldn't remember. As far as he was concerned, he'd never kissed a single person before this moment.

Kaidan pulled away, somewhat reluctantly, peering over Shepard's shoulder in time to see the mercenaries exit the restaurant. His gaze slid back over to Shepard, sitting in front of him looking slightly dazed, pupils blown, lips red and swollen. Kaidan wanted nothing more than to close the distance again, to get lost in those eyes and that _mouth_ , but…they needed to talk about this.

"I, um… think we're clear," he said, but he didn't move away, eyes wandering over Jamie, the flutter of his eyelashes, the bob of his Adam's apple when he swallowed.

Shepard nodded slowly, then cleared his throat. "I'll…contact port security."

Kaidan retreated to his seat to let Shepard make the call, and to gather his wits. It didn't work, though, and by the time Shepard closed his omni-tool interface and cleared his throat, Kaidan's head didn't feeling any clearer at all.

"I guess we need to talk about some stuff, don't we?" Shepard offered.

Kaidan nodded, staring at the tablecloth. "Shepard, I-,"

"Jamie," he cut in, and Kaidan lifted his head to meet his eyes in surprise. There was a laser focus to Shepard's stare he hadn't seen before. "You just kissed me senseless, I think we're on a first name basis. At least in personal situations."

Kaidan grinned. "Ok. Jamie."

Jamie beamed, almost like he liked the way Kaidan said his name.

"Look," Kaidan started. "I think it's pretty clear by now we're attracted to each other, that there's something here," He gestured between the two of them. "And in the spirit of full disclosure, that was, uh… a pretty amazing kiss. Top five for sure."

Jamie smirked. "Top five, huh? I must be a better kisser than I remember. I was going to say top ten."

Kaidan barked out a laugh, he couldn't help it. It was clear Jamie was teasing by the look on his face, but Kaidan had never heard him joke so casually before.

"Sorry," Jamie offered. "That was pretty bad."

Kaidan snorted, shaking his head. "It's ok. It's nice to see you so relaxed."

Jamie poked at his eggs with a fork. "It's not easy for me to really relax. But, uh…, I seem to find that easy to do around you,"

Kaidan's cheeks heated with a blush, but he grinned.

Jamie shifted in his seat, bringing himself closer to Kaidan. He reached under the table and snagged one of Kaidan's hands, tangling their fingers together. He pinned Kaidan with that deep brown stare again, a sheepish smile crossing his face.

"Kaidan, I…I'd like to see where this could go. We'd have to be careful, of course, but I'd like there to be an 'us', if you want to."

Kaidan squeezed his hand. "I want to."

Jamie beamed, leaning in to press a kiss to Kaidan's lips, his free hand sliding up to tangle in his hair. The kiss was soft and tender and over way too soon, but Kaidan's stomach flipped at the idea that they had _time_ now, to resume these activities later.

Jamie tapped their foreheads together, his warm breath ghosting over Kaidan's mouth.

"We're due to dock at the Citadel after we leave Noveria. Can I take you to dinner?" he murmured, and Kaidan's heart clenched at the sincerity and slight shyness in his voice.

Kaidan hummed, chasing Jamie's lips, and pressing a soft kiss there. "I'd like that."

They pulled apart, somewhat reluctantly, though their hands remained firmly intertwined.

"I have to head back to the Normandy to take care of some things before the rest of the crew boards. You should stay, finish eating." Jamie said, activating his omni-tool to pay for the food.

Kaidan put a hand on his wrist, grinning when Jamie looked up at him, slightly bemused.

"I got this one," he said. "Besides, you said you were going to pay for dinner next time, so this'll make us even." Kaidan winked at him, enjoying the flush that spread across Jamie's cheeks. "As long as you don't stand me up."

Jamie stood to leave, but leaned down for one more kiss, then nuzzled against Kaidan's jaw until his lips were next to his ear.

"Never going to happen." 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please visit me on [ Tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mallaidhsomo) to learn more about Jamie and my other boys!
> 
> Sabaism also has a [ Spotify playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5bNrW0QqHoibsHhHwA9MuL?si=_B5U7GiUR8aDfQQKNnBtVA)


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